I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
