i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the condom got lost in my hair
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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