Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Randomize
