Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
