best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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