if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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