I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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