I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
