So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
