dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
