Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
