Im at strip club and am horny
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
