did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
