Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
