obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
as a side note pls kill me
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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