This girl is more easily done than said...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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