I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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