you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize