so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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