Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
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