i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
