some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I love you. Go after that dick
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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