girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
