Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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