his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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