Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
