Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
