So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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