I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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