Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You've changed since you got that strap on
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
