I'm jealous of your bromance
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
