We're like a lot better than the average bears
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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