waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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