All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
