I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
