YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
