Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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