Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Randomize
