i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
