one word: firstdatebathroomanal
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
