it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize