Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
