you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have aggressive nipples.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
