I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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