Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
