I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
