I'm lost and stupid without you.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
