Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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