i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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