end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
