you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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