I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
