im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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