I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
