plz talk dirty to me
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
