I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
