Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize