As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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