Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
