I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
