Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
