im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
