We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
