I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
