Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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