We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
