when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
