That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
