i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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