he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize