I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Randomize