How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
