That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
