She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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