idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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