its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
