I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it was like eating out sand paper
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
