i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
