tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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