This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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