What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize