I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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