no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize