He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
