3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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