about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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