My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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