dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
