my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
