with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
