Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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